Hi Everyone!!

I have had so many people call, send cards, flowers and pray for me. And I know you are all concerned and wish to follow all the "latest" info. I am following the lead of another fellow blogger, Jessica Kaylor, who is also going on the same breast cancer journey I am. She and her husband set up a web site so people could follow her progress - what a great idea! Thanks for the idea. God Bless you Jessica! You are an inspiration!!

IN A NUTSHELL
About a month ago I found a small lump, and went to the OBGYN first thing that Monday morning (3/7/05). After several MRI's, ultrasounds, biosies, CT scans, bone scans, doctor visits I found out I had an invasive lobular carcinoma. I had lumpectomy surgery April 6th to remove it and 9 lymphnodes. The tumor was less than 1 cm, and only one node had 3 microscopic clusters of cells. Now, I am shopping oncologist's and determining the rest of treatment which will probably include chemo and most definately radiation and tamoxiphin. I have tentatively set up treatment at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center at Phelps Hospital. We'll see, so far I've spoken to 3 different doctors with 3 different courses of treatment. It's very frustrating.

I AM BLESSED
There are no words that can describe how it felt when the radiologist called and told me the diagnosis. I was at home with Alex (2yrs) taking a nap, and Sophia (4yrs) playing in her toy room, John was working. I had to write it down so I could remember what she told me because I think I stepped out of my body at that moment. A few moments later I had to stand on the corner and wait for Susannah (6yrs) to get off the bus. I had to try not to cry because I didn't want Susannah to know anything was wrong.

It was that day that I first told my family, and then sent an e-mail to Pastor Kennedy. My request was to please just pray. The outpouring has been incredible. You have all been a lifesaver to me. I beleive in the power of prayer, I have sunk myself into the Bible to make it through each day. I don't know how you would get through the dark days without the Light. Jesus is my light! The verses you have sent me, the prayers, books, the flowers, the help. The food. When my mom came to visit during my surgery she nor I had to cook. My church family made dinner every night. My aunt and grandmother mailed dinner (w/recipes enclosed)! My mother-in-law cooked. I can't tell you what that means to me. My poor mother did laundry almost every day she was here!! I am not the type to ask for help, nor will I admit when I need it. You all just did it. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!

WALKING HAND IN HAND WITH JESUS
My life before it was touched by cancer was pretty great. I have a 4 foot wooden sign in my kitchen that says "Just Another Day In Paradise". I thanked God everyday for His blessings. I never thought I would be thanking Him even more even though I have cancer. I don't take anything for granted. When I found out I had breast cancer, I just fell to my knees and prayed, and I haven't stopped. He is faithful to me. I can see Him more clearly everyday in my life. He whispers in my ear, "It's going to be alright". He holds my hand at doctor's appointments and shows up unexpectly when I'm ready to break down. I can do this!! I can do this!! Thank you, God, Thank you.

WHAT'S NEXT
Now I just need to decide on a treatment and buy lots of hats. I plan to blast this cancer into oblivion, hopefully without any longterm side effects. I pray every day that the surgery got it all, and there are no more cells in my body. I believe that to be true. I do have a prescription for a cranial prosthesis. I plan to shop for one. I like what Jessica Kaylor said on her blog page that God has all the hairs on her cranial prosthesis numbered. I'm laughing through my tears. When I told my children I need to go to the hospital and get medicine so my boo boo doesn't come back, and the medicine will make my hair fall out, my oldest (6yrs old), Susannah, said she would go with me and that we need to go when I still have hair so they can make it look just the same. She's fantastic.

I started working out again. I hope to keep it up as much as possible during chemo. I just don't know what to expect. I have spent my whole life staying away from drugs, even over the counter, now I am going to take toxic combinations hoping not to do any long term damage and I'm saying, "Bring it on!" Pastors message on Easter Sunday was about life turning on a dime, Oh, how true!! The Lord works in mysterious ways! One thing I do know for sure - I have no control. I give it all up to you, Lord! I could not be in better hands! I am confident in whatever the future brings to me.