Busy week planned. Monday are the kids dental appointments, Tuesday is a birthday party, and Lindsey, my niece, comes in to spend two weeks with us, Wednesday CT scans and MRI, Thursday two different doctor appointments (for me), and Friday so far nothing. The days are filling up quickly. I also need to get my eyes checked and get my radiology simulation appointment, and get my colonoscopy. By the time I get done with all this medical treatment, there won't be one square inch of me that hasn't been poked, proded, looked at or medicated in some way. I am so sick of all these doctor's appointments.
I must admit that after my last treatment, I was back to feeling sorry for myself again. I'm feeling like "why me" again. I know it is just the chemo talkin' and can almost set my clock by it. But now I feel energized. I feel indestructable and purposeful and hopeful. This morning I got a kick in the spiritual behind. I realize I have been seeking healing from the world, from doctors. It's easy to do when you are just living from one appointment to another. I'm so sick of hearing about another cancer diagnosis and the hurt and destruction it can do to a family. We are all looking to the medical community to heal us, and I guess got sucked in as well. I need to keep my eyes fixed on God. Modern medicine is good, but God is infinate. I can't let my eyes waiver. I sat in church this morning and jotted a few things down - Apart from God, we can do nothing; I need the Word everyday - spiritual food. Even when we spend a short amount of time away from Him, the devil uses that time to sneak in. Letting in doubt, pity, weakness, hopelessness. I know healing comes from God. I won't let the doubt come in, my healing is in God's hands, I have no control. I ordered myself some Joel Osteen CD's to listen to in the car. He's a great preacher that I love to listen to. Keep your eyes on Him! That's what I need to remember. I let too much of the world in, I need to let more of the WORD in!
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Getting Closer - 7 of 8 Behind Me!!
I made it though another round of chemo. One more to go. Mom and Grandma came with me. All went well. My next round is in two weeks. I'm upset about my last appointment though. I usually see the doctor first then go upstairs to the chemo room for my treatment. They bumped my chemo to the next day, so I will see the doctor on Tuesday, then go home and come back the next day to get my treatment. I was so upset! I made this appointment over a month ago so I could get the time I wanted. Now they bump me. They just don't want to see me go I guess.
I am supposed to go in now and get another CT scan of chest and abdomin and get an MRI of my brain. I had a migrain last week with blurred vision, so my oncologist suggested the MRI. I'm sure it will all come out clean. The CT scans are just follow-up. I'm not worried, just a precaution, I guess. I'll keep you posted.
For those of you who haven't already, you have to go to Jessicakaylor.blogspot.com and check out her picture. She looks fantastic. For those of you who don't know her, she is my friend Janette Yetter's neice who was diagnosed with breast cancer about the same time as I. Check out her blog site and you will be as uplifted as I am. Reading her blog has been an inspiration to me since we are going though this at the same time.
Keep praying for a cure for cancer. The prayer list is getting longer. Another relative diagnosed with cancer in Minnesota. Put Rosemary Wirth on your prayer list. She was just diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. She has a 10-15% chance of survival. Pray she will be in the 10-15%!!
I am supposed to go in now and get another CT scan of chest and abdomin and get an MRI of my brain. I had a migrain last week with blurred vision, so my oncologist suggested the MRI. I'm sure it will all come out clean. The CT scans are just follow-up. I'm not worried, just a precaution, I guess. I'll keep you posted.
For those of you who haven't already, you have to go to Jessicakaylor.blogspot.com and check out her picture. She looks fantastic. For those of you who don't know her, she is my friend Janette Yetter's neice who was diagnosed with breast cancer about the same time as I. Check out her blog site and you will be as uplifted as I am. Reading her blog has been an inspiration to me since we are going though this at the same time.
Keep praying for a cure for cancer. The prayer list is getting longer. Another relative diagnosed with cancer in Minnesota. Put Rosemary Wirth on your prayer list. She was just diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. She has a 10-15% chance of survival. Pray she will be in the 10-15%!!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Weekend Update
Last Thursday, I checked out the radiologists. What a busy day driving around from one appointment to the next. I think I will continue to go to Sloan-Kettering for radiation. It is a lot of driving everyday, but I am comfortable with the care there and the radiologists. I will have 34 treatments every day and I guess I will start after Labor Day. That will be my new part-time job for about 6 weeks.
I have my next treatment on Tuesday. My mom and grandmother will go with me again. After Tuesday only one more. Thank the Lord! Thank you all for praying for me and with me to get me through this far.
This weekend we went to Mystic, CT (ever heard of the movie "Mystic Pizza"?). It was beautiful. Sunday we stumbled upon an antique boat show on the Mystic River in downtown Mystic. It was so neat, it was a parade of beautiful boats/ships/sail boats/ocean vessels. It was very impressive. (Gene Yetter - you would have loved it! Plan to go next year in July!) It was a fun weekend, however we ended up in traffic getting there and going home. What should have been a 3 hour ride ended up being at least an hour or 2 more each direction.
Had a great weekend - hope you did too. Not looking forward to Tuesday but that means only one more left. Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France again! Awesome! After I'm done with this, I need to work on winning some Tour de-something. I will be pumped and ready to go!!
I have my next treatment on Tuesday. My mom and grandmother will go with me again. After Tuesday only one more. Thank the Lord! Thank you all for praying for me and with me to get me through this far.
This weekend we went to Mystic, CT (ever heard of the movie "Mystic Pizza"?). It was beautiful. Sunday we stumbled upon an antique boat show on the Mystic River in downtown Mystic. It was so neat, it was a parade of beautiful boats/ships/sail boats/ocean vessels. It was very impressive. (Gene Yetter - you would have loved it! Plan to go next year in July!) It was a fun weekend, however we ended up in traffic getting there and going home. What should have been a 3 hour ride ended up being at least an hour or 2 more each direction.
Had a great weekend - hope you did too. Not looking forward to Tuesday but that means only one more left. Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France again! Awesome! After I'm done with this, I need to work on winning some Tour de-something. I will be pumped and ready to go!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Family History
Back to normal again. I feel great, except it is so hot and humid here in NY. It feels like south Florida. My mom and grandmother and I just hung out today. We were on the computer reading e-mails from Lars, a cousin in Sweden and Diane, my sweet aunt from Omaha. We also read another blog site of a relative who has cancer, too. It is amazing how many people have to go through this. Joannie, a cousin from Minnesota, has ovarian cancer, and Jim, her husband has prostate cancer. We spent a good part of the day reading their blog site and getting caught up on Joannie's fight. I almost couldn't read it. It is so close to home for me and I am so sorry that she and her husband have to go through this, too. We all need to pray for a cure for this horrible disease.
Lars' email got us looking at the Ellis Island website, and it was great talking to my grandmother about family history from Sweden and understanding where we came from and how we got here. Our family members came over here with $20 in thier pockets. My great grandmother came over with her sister Marie, and 3 small children through Ellis Island. Marie is Joannie's grandmother, so we have the same family history. We are cousins down the line. Life is precious. Live it everyday. Our journey is important, no matter how long or how short it is. God has a plan for each of our lives. Trust in Him. And continue to praise His name!!!
Lars' email got us looking at the Ellis Island website, and it was great talking to my grandmother about family history from Sweden and understanding where we came from and how we got here. Our family members came over here with $20 in thier pockets. My great grandmother came over with her sister Marie, and 3 small children through Ellis Island. Marie is Joannie's grandmother, so we have the same family history. We are cousins down the line. Life is precious. Live it everyday. Our journey is important, no matter how long or how short it is. God has a plan for each of our lives. Trust in Him. And continue to praise His name!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
One more down, 2 to go!!!
I haven't had a chance to sit down and post anything lately. I had a treatment on Tuesday, last week. My mom and grandmother came with me. My mother has been so worried I thought it would be good to go with her so she can see for herself what goes on. Not a place you ever think you want to take your mom. Sitting in the chemo room we just never imagined we would be sitting there together.
It went fine. I had my mom drive down there so she could get used to driving my Expedition and find her way back home. She ran into the wall of my driveway backing out of the garage. OPPS! No damage, just kind of funny. I slept most of the time getting the treatment while my mom and grandma went to the cafeteria for lunch and walked around. My mom said they checked up on me, but I was still sawing logs. It went smoothly and I got a nice nap. The treatment lasted from about 11:00am-4:00pm. We were home by 5:00 - I drove home.
On Wednesday, I felt so good I worked out in the morning! I even felt fine most of the day on Thursday. Thursday evening is when the leg pain started. It's so weird how that happens. I'm fine, then it hurts to walk. I took it easy most of this weekend. Saturday was our neighborhood block party. I spent most of the day sleeping then ended up at the party. I was hurting Saturday night. I need to take it easy. I did a lot of standing. That's the worst of it though! Not bad. This is so much better than the A/C part of my treatment. This Taxol is "cake" compared to that. I'm sure Monday morning will be even better. My next treatment is Tuesday, July 26th. It's coming fast.
Physically I'm doing fine. Emotionally, I'm making my way through. I am so happy to wake up everyday and take care of my family and just be with my children and husband and mom and grandmother. I can't wait to finish this treatment and radiation and not have to think about cancer every single day. What a load of garbage. Why is this a part of my life? I can't wait to put this behind me. I can't wait to have hair. I can't wait to feel healthy and strong again. It is coming! My dear Lord, help me endure and perservere, and win! I am strong and positive and healthy inside and out. This is only temporary. I know the Lord has sent me to be purified in the furnace and I will come out better than ever! Can I get an "AMEN"!!
It went fine. I had my mom drive down there so she could get used to driving my Expedition and find her way back home. She ran into the wall of my driveway backing out of the garage. OPPS! No damage, just kind of funny. I slept most of the time getting the treatment while my mom and grandma went to the cafeteria for lunch and walked around. My mom said they checked up on me, but I was still sawing logs. It went smoothly and I got a nice nap. The treatment lasted from about 11:00am-4:00pm. We were home by 5:00 - I drove home.
On Wednesday, I felt so good I worked out in the morning! I even felt fine most of the day on Thursday. Thursday evening is when the leg pain started. It's so weird how that happens. I'm fine, then it hurts to walk. I took it easy most of this weekend. Saturday was our neighborhood block party. I spent most of the day sleeping then ended up at the party. I was hurting Saturday night. I need to take it easy. I did a lot of standing. That's the worst of it though! Not bad. This is so much better than the A/C part of my treatment. This Taxol is "cake" compared to that. I'm sure Monday morning will be even better. My next treatment is Tuesday, July 26th. It's coming fast.
Physically I'm doing fine. Emotionally, I'm making my way through. I am so happy to wake up everyday and take care of my family and just be with my children and husband and mom and grandmother. I can't wait to finish this treatment and radiation and not have to think about cancer every single day. What a load of garbage. Why is this a part of my life? I can't wait to put this behind me. I can't wait to have hair. I can't wait to feel healthy and strong again. It is coming! My dear Lord, help me endure and perservere, and win! I am strong and positive and healthy inside and out. This is only temporary. I know the Lord has sent me to be purified in the furnace and I will come out better than ever! Can I get an "AMEN"!!
Friday, July 08, 2005
Feeling Great!!
Well, my mom and grandmother are here now. My sister and her family also stayed with us this week one night. My mom and grandma will stay for 3 weeks. Yeah!! Then my niece Lindsey will come and stay for about a week. I can't wait. Then I will be over with all this. I only have 3 more treatments. My mom will be here for 2 and Lindsey will be here for one, and then I'm done. Then radiation.
I stopped by the place where I will probably do radiation just to ask some questions. They said I will probably have 28 - 34 treatments. That's every day, Monday thru Friday. My oncologist said it's a law of Physics that they don't have to radiate over the weekend.
I'm feeling great these days. I feel almost back to normal. They weren't kiddin when they said this drug wasn't as bad. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing laundry, driving the kids all over, making dinner, cleaning the house, I feel great! I love "normal" life. I am so blessed. I say that over and over, but it is true. I pray that the worst is over.
I know that it is because of your prayers that I feel so good. Thanks a million!!
I stopped by the place where I will probably do radiation just to ask some questions. They said I will probably have 28 - 34 treatments. That's every day, Monday thru Friday. My oncologist said it's a law of Physics that they don't have to radiate over the weekend.
I'm feeling great these days. I feel almost back to normal. They weren't kiddin when they said this drug wasn't as bad. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing laundry, driving the kids all over, making dinner, cleaning the house, I feel great! I love "normal" life. I am so blessed. I say that over and over, but it is true. I pray that the worst is over.
I know that it is because of your prayers that I feel so good. Thanks a million!!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Happy 4th of July!!
I am trying to figure out how to post pictures. I hope you like the pictures of my babies! They were taken exactly one month ago at Susannah and Sophia's dance recital. I was really out of it since it was 2 days after a treatment. I'm just glad I made it at all. For all of you in other states who haven't seen me - how do you like the new "doo"?
This last treatment was different. I am feeling alot of pain going down my legs and in my feet. Kind of like electric shock. I'm walking and my legs can sort of buckle up. This drug I am taking now involves a lot of nerve side effects - tingling in the hands and feet and bone pain. I am feeling better than the last drug, just different. I'm not sick to my stomach, though, which is nice. We'll see how this progresses. I'm hoping it gets better. Last time I was out for at least 5 days after a treatment. It's now been 4 days, and I am feeling better today, just the leg and lower back pain. I can take Tylenol for that. Yesterday I did not go out much at all and took a nap part of the day. I really needed that. Today we went out the entire day at Mona's house for a pool party/BBQ. I'm fine in a chair, although right now I'm a bit tired.
The 4th we have no plans. It will be nice to hang out with my family and do nothing. Hope everyone has a fantastic 4th of July. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!! I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! GOD BLESS THE USA!!
This last treatment was different. I am feeling alot of pain going down my legs and in my feet. Kind of like electric shock. I'm walking and my legs can sort of buckle up. This drug I am taking now involves a lot of nerve side effects - tingling in the hands and feet and bone pain. I am feeling better than the last drug, just different. I'm not sick to my stomach, though, which is nice. We'll see how this progresses. I'm hoping it gets better. Last time I was out for at least 5 days after a treatment. It's now been 4 days, and I am feeling better today, just the leg and lower back pain. I can take Tylenol for that. Yesterday I did not go out much at all and took a nap part of the day. I really needed that. Today we went out the entire day at Mona's house for a pool party/BBQ. I'm fine in a chair, although right now I'm a bit tired.
The 4th we have no plans. It will be nice to hang out with my family and do nothing. Hope everyone has a fantastic 4th of July. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!! I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! GOD BLESS THE USA!!
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