Simulation Today

I went to Sloan-Kettering today for my radiation simulation. They basically mapped out the radiation, and how they will do it and where. They made a mold of me so I lie in the same position each time. I layed on the table and they took X-rays to see where my ribs and lungs and heart are so they radiate as little as possible. I guess I passed. They said I have very little that will be radiated except what they wanted to. I got tatooed, also. I guess that is so they know exactly where to radiate each time. I got home today and I had marker all over me! It looked like they were playing tic-tac-toe on my chest. After I got all marked up, and molded, they sent me upstairs for a CT scan to pinpoint exactly where my internal organs are so they can steer any radiation away from the area.

It felt a little overwhelming sitting on the table. One more step in this journey. The final one!! After a while you just get so sick of hospital settings, the sterol environments, the routineness of the process to the doctors and nurses. It is such a life altering experience for me, but to them, I am one of many coming through the door. I felt embarassased that I wanted to cry just lying there with the technician buzzing around, another tech measuring me, the doctor popping in and out to draw on me. I held it together. One step at a time. I can do this. I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me!!!

After the simulation I had to go to the mall to pick up a few things since we are going on vacation tomorrow. My friend Janette called me on my cell. She told me that her neice, Jessica's scan results came back with no evidence of cancer in her whole body!!! She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer the same time I was diagnosed stage 2. I was shaking and crying and so happy just standing there in front of "The Children's Place" at the JV Mall. God worked a miricle in Jessica. I am so very happy for her!! I knew with every fiber of me that God was going to use Jessica to show His glory - and HE HAS! You must check out her blog site! Jessicakaylor.blogspot.com!!! PRAISE GOD!! (Check out comments from me on her blog from last week when Jake talking about life being Boring). God is good, and he has only the best plans for our life.

I will write more when we get back on vacation. Remember when I first began this blog I was dreaming of "Some beach, somewhere...", well, we are going tomorrow. We are going away with our good friends Molly and Ari Straus, and their 3 children. We are so looking forward to it! We'll be at the British Virgin Islands, at Ari's parent's house. The house is appropriatly named "Beach Dreams".

All is going well for me! I know now that I am done with all the heavy drugs I will get healthier and stronger. I am so blessed and so happy to be done with this. I am looking forward to finishing radiation. I go in this week to get the simulation, which is just setting me up and mapping out the radiation. They want to radiate as little of the heart/lungs/ribs as possible so they need to do a CT scan and map out the best positioning. I know when this part is over I never have to do this again. It only gets better from here!!

I do have to finish all the other testing now, but that's only testing and that will just show that I am as healthy as ever and only getting better. I can't wait to work out on a regular basis, not to be interupted by chemo. I am ready to live the rest of my life.

Small Miracle Today!!!

Yesterday I went in and my blood count was too low to do chemo. My doctor said my blood counts were not good and she would not let me get the chemo if it was scheduled for that day. I needed to get another blood test today before my chemo to see if I could even get my last dose dense treatment. I was so worried about not being able to get my last treatment, I forgot to take my pre-meds (steroids) before I went to bed. Two strikes against me!!

I asked everyone I saw and talked to yesterday to pray for good blood counts so I can get my chemo. I woke up today feeling really tired, and forgot to take my pre-meds last night, so I was sure they wouldn't let me. I got there and the nurse said, lets just do the blood work, and see. I got all ready for my treatment, she took the blood and came back and showed me the report. In order for me to get chemo my blood count needed to be over 1.5, mine was 1.6. She also said the doctor said I could do IV steroids and still do my treatment. I believe in prayer!! Thank you all for this small miracle. I was so excited to get my last treatment. NO MORE CHEMO!!!!

I really thank God for this. I was sure I knew his will for my last treatment. I was sure He wanted me to get my chemo next week because of these last obstacles. One more little miracle and gift of love. He is with me and monitoring me every step of the way. I feel really silly for having been so upset. Hand your daily troubles to HIM! He will take them and make you strong and relaxed so you can live for Him and Him alone - no worries! He talks to me through these little trials.

Now on the the next phase - radiation and follow-up testing.

Tomorrow is my last treatment... maybe, maybe not...

I need a vacation! I have had so many doctor's appointments, and have so many planned, I can't keep up. Last week I had my CT scans and a brain MRI. Everything is clear! Yeah, I didn't expect anything else. They did note some other colon issues which I knew about, but evidently it got worse since the last scan. So now I have a small bowel series, and a colonoscopy scheduled with a GI specialist. The scan also noted a protrusion in my pulminary artery, so I need to see a pulminary specialist. I need to see my primary physician first so she can refer me to the other specialists. Can you understand any of this, because I'm totally confused and not sure which doctor to see next! This is all in addition to radiation and chemo.

I have my treatment scheduled for tomorrow morning. I should say it is scheduled, but it may not happen. Today, I had my doctor visit where they take blood and check you out to make sure you can get the chemo. Well, Dr. Mills said that my blood counts are not good, and if I were scheduled for today she would send me home until next week. I will go in tomorrow before my treatment and they will do another blood test. I will be praying for some miracle that my blood levels raise over night. I hope you will be praying, too. I was stunned! I thought I was feeling pretty good. I guess I am just getting used to being tired all the time. I have been working out, and John has been juicing for me everyday. I drink a veggie/fruit concoction that John comes up with that contains tomatoes, cabbage, melon, grapes, apples and whatever else he can get in there. My body is just tired of getting these drugs!

I am scheduled to start radiation the week of August 26th. I will also be taking Tamoxafin. I'm not thrilled about the drugs. I do not want to take any long-term drugs. She says I will be on it for 2 years, and then switch to something else. Not thrilled with that!

Okay, here goes, more bad news. Everytime someone asks me if anyone in my family had breast cancer, I say no, well I can't say that anymore. My aunt Diane, whom you all know if you read my blog and comments, was just diagnosed today with Non-Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (DCIS). Non-invasive means it hasn't spread and is contained in a duct. It is a non-life threatening type of cancer which is very good. It is, however a type of cancer that may (or may not) be a precurser to an invasive cancer, so they can treat it the same as invasive cancer. Be praying for Diane. It is still early in the prognosis, she still needs surgery, and then I guess treatment options can be discussed from there. I think she is still in shock and doesn't know how to react. ** Hang in there Diane! It's okay to be upset or scared and cry, but know that everything is going to be alright, and you have a lot of people supporting you!! All our prayers are going up for you!! **

I can't believe I'm coming to the end of my treatment as Diane is just starting.