Monday, May 01, 2006

John and I just got back from a long weekend in Las Vegas. We met my brother and sister-in-law there. We had a really nice time. NO kids. The last time John and I got to go away with just the two of us was when we spent the night at the Waldorf Austoria in NYC the day I found my lump. This was a welcome trip. I'm not a gambler, but I am an eater and a shopper. We had a great time. We also saw Barry Manilow and George Wallace. Two great shows!

The Tuesday before we left I went to Sloan Kettering in the city for the genetic testing. We'll see how that turns out. I'm pretty sure that will be negative, but my doctor suggested the testing since I'm so young to have breast cancer. They have a family tree all filled out and list causes of death, diseases, etc. for my family. Try doing that sometime. I was really surprised. I also found out that my cousin had breast cancer 9 years ago. They said it was small and they caught it early so she had a lumpectomy with radiation. Now she is diagnosed with metastatic disease and has terminal cancer in her stomach and spine. She is 48 I think. She is doing chemo to control it, but will never be cured. Keep her in your prayers. I haven't spoken to her in years, but called to get info for this genetic testing. We had a great conversation, and I'm so glad we got to talk. She's on my father's side, so they said her cancer is unrelated to mine. I wanted to get the genetic testing for my children. I figure the more information, the better.

I have been very emotional lately. I think because I spoke to my cousin and she's not doing so well. That could easily be me. That's why I chose to go full force with my treatments with chemo and radiation and now Tamoxifen. How do you know what to do? I chose not to get a bone scan, now I think I probably should have. I'll have to talk to my doctor and see what she thinks. I have an appointment this week with her.

I've also been having problems with my Crohn's disease. Same kind of pains as before that ultimately lead to the intestinal blockage that put me in the hospital last time. I was really sick today and spent most of the day laying down. I'm feeling better now, though, and will be in contact with my doctor at Mt. Sinai.

Now I'm getting mad! It's time for me to take my health back!! I'm not going to sit here and be sick. Diet, exercize, lots of water, supplements, whatever it takes. It's time I put Amy first, for myself, but mostly for my children. I don't want them to have to deal with a sick mommy all the time. I will not let sickness hold me back. Lance Armstrong took control of his health, and so can I. I can overcome anything, God willing. Crohn's, cancer, I will put this behind me and not live in fear. Pray for me, I need strength. I can do it. I will do it.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amy,
You are remarkable. From the outside no one would have a clue you are feeling bad. Because of this, you have to TELL us, that way we can help. If it was any one of us, you would do the same thing.

This to shall pass.

I am sorry to hear about your cousin, but think about all of the new prayers she has now. And Aunt Diane, How are you?

You are a fighter. We are all there to support you, in what ever you need.

Hang in there kid!

Love,
Janette

P.S. Glad you had fun in Vegas, you earned it!!

j

ejbauerlein said...

Ames-
This is the first and most likely last time I will ever say this, but it is the only advice that I can give you. You always give me advice since you have been through this before. But now, it's my turn. Are you ready?
"It's all about you."
Understand what I'm saying.
Do for yourself, especially when you don't think others are doing for you. Don't always sacrifice yourself. Ask for help. We're ALL here for you. So, one more time. Just to make sure it's sunk in.
It's all about you!
Love Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

Your amazing. If I were an illness (any illness) living in your body....I'd be scared right about now. You are fighting mad and we'll all help you fight. Just ask us for help and we're with you. Love, Mil
PS. Thanks for supper last night. It was yummy and always after a full day at the hospital, it is much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Amy
I hadn't been to your blog in a while and was so moved to read all the physical and emotional challenges that are part of everyday for you. As Janette said, you look so good and energetic...please keep sharing so we realize where you could use some help and encouragement. As I mentioned recently on Elizabeth's blog , my family was in a very special "space" a few weeks ago..you in front of us and Elizabeth's voice floating over us as she sang the piece from the Messiah from the balcony behind us. We hold you both in our prayers and continue to be impressed by the spirit you both possess as you face these challenges, and are honored that you share them with us. May we be a source of strength in return. Winnie

Anonymous said...

Amy,
SO glad to hear from both of you that the 'away' was great.
Now, this Crohn's needs a good 'whooping'! Get back to Dr. M. and keep going forward!
Love and hugs,
Maria