John and I just got back from a long weekend in Las Vegas. We met my brother and sister-in-law there. We had a really nice time. NO kids. The last time John and I got to go away with just the two of us was when we spent the night at the Waldorf Austoria in NYC the day I found my lump. This was a welcome trip. I'm not a gambler, but I am an eater and a shopper. We had a great time. We also saw Barry Manilow and George Wallace. Two great shows!

The Tuesday before we left I went to Sloan Kettering in the city for the genetic testing. We'll see how that turns out. I'm pretty sure that will be negative, but my doctor suggested the testing since I'm so young to have breast cancer. They have a family tree all filled out and list causes of death, diseases, etc. for my family. Try doing that sometime. I was really surprised. I also found out that my cousin had breast cancer 9 years ago. They said it was small and they caught it early so she had a lumpectomy with radiation. Now she is diagnosed with metastatic disease and has terminal cancer in her stomach and spine. She is 48 I think. She is doing chemo to control it, but will never be cured. Keep her in your prayers. I haven't spoken to her in years, but called to get info for this genetic testing. We had a great conversation, and I'm so glad we got to talk. She's on my father's side, so they said her cancer is unrelated to mine. I wanted to get the genetic testing for my children. I figure the more information, the better.

I have been very emotional lately. I think because I spoke to my cousin and she's not doing so well. That could easily be me. That's why I chose to go full force with my treatments with chemo and radiation and now Tamoxifen. How do you know what to do? I chose not to get a bone scan, now I think I probably should have. I'll have to talk to my doctor and see what she thinks. I have an appointment this week with her.

I've also been having problems with my Crohn's disease. Same kind of pains as before that ultimately lead to the intestinal blockage that put me in the hospital last time. I was really sick today and spent most of the day laying down. I'm feeling better now, though, and will be in contact with my doctor at Mt. Sinai.

Now I'm getting mad! It's time for me to take my health back!! I'm not going to sit here and be sick. Diet, exercize, lots of water, supplements, whatever it takes. It's time I put Amy first, for myself, but mostly for my children. I don't want them to have to deal with a sick mommy all the time. I will not let sickness hold me back. Lance Armstrong took control of his health, and so can I. I can overcome anything, God willing. Crohn's, cancer, I will put this behind me and not live in fear. Pray for me, I need strength. I can do it. I will do it.