5 Down, 3 To Go

I did it!! I got my first Taxol round. I was there from 10:45 until 5:30. Anne Marie went with me and we had a nice time in the chemo room until I was knocked out with the Benedryl. We watched "Hitch" and I slept half way through. It's now 2 days after and I'm not feeling quite so sick. This isn't as bad as the previous 4 rounds. Everything is going fine.

Pastor - I read your posting and you reminded me to take my antibiotics! Thanks. I am so humbled by the fact that you pray for me at such historical Christian sites in Bethlehem, places where Christ himself walked. It is a reminder to me that Christ has healed me through His wounds, and I have nothing to fear. Have a safe trip!!

That fear has a way of sneaking in, though. Just talking to people around me in the chemo room makes me fearful. One lady about my age was there getting her chemo, we struck up a conversation and she's doing chemo for the second time. The first time was four years ago for breast cancer and now it's metasticized. I know there are so many more good stories and victories, and that's what I need to see.

I am also feeling guilty. I don't know why. I guess I feel like I'm coming up short for my husband and children. When you get married you vow to love each other in sickness and health, but I guess I thought I would be doing the caretaking. It's hard to be the one that needs to be cared for. Did I mention that one of the side-effects of these drugs is moodiness? Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little of that now.

I am doing fine, though. Thanks again to all who keep me in their prayers. Only 3 more rounds and then radiation. I will be glad to put this behind me and look forward to running a marathon, or climbing a mountain, or just being a mom and wife again.